Unprocessed Hamburger Helper

See that? Yeah, right there. Real ingredients. Yep, it is totally do-able and totally easy to make  Homemade Hamburger Helper with real ingredients and spare yourself some trans fat, MSG, and chemical laden food dyes. Not to mention a bunch of GMO’s and stuff that you can’t even pronounce. Why were we ever eating that crap again?

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Can you imagine all this time, Betty Crocker has been pulling the wool over our little ol’ eyes and making us believe this stuff is actually food? Yeah, those days are over. The power of the internet has come to bite Betty  in the butt, that is, if Betty Crocker were even a real person!

Just like all the fake food items with the name Betty Crocker on them in the grocery stores today, the name itself is fake as well. True facts here people, the Betty Crocker you’ve been imagining in your head for all these years is actually a nobody. *Moment of silence for all the Betty lovers*

General Mills is actually behind the name Betty Crocker, and ohhhhh aren’t they just the sneakiest little devils. Making people think for all these years that if you wanted to be a good at home cook you should buy their crappy food-like items and feed them to your family. All the while, Betty isn’t even a person and if she were you know she wouldn’t be eating that crap because the Betty in my mind is a smart Betty!

My Betty wears a cute apron and is smiling to great everyone at the door of her perfect home. Her children are well behaved, her house is immaculate, and her husband is a real hunk. She spends her time doing charity events, helping under-privileged children, and she was even a Girl Scout Leader when her perfect daughter was a Brownie. Sound like anyone you know? Of course not! 😉


Now that the Betty Crocker is fake cat is out of the bag let’s move on to discuss just how many disgusting ingredients General Mills has managed to stuff into one box:

  • Partially hydrogenated oils (trans fat)
  • MSG and Yeast Extract
  • Refined Grains
  • Fake food dyes
  • Caramel Coloring
  • Malodextrin
  • Added sugar
  • Sulfiting agents
  • Hydrolyzed vegetable protein
  • A ton of sodiums that have weird names

I guess the ingredients speak for themselves. No, just no, is all I have to say about that. I know, you know, we all know this is garbage and nobody should be eating it, so why does it have to taste so good??

The tasty goodness does not have to die like the Betty Crocker we just put to rest. No, no! I will not let that happen! Fear not, your fat days can now be complete with your very own Hamburger Helper made with… wait for it… REAL STUFF. Real stuff including milk, cheese, water, spices, whole wheat noodles, and salt. Yes, that is it. Put your pantry staples together and you have one of the creamiest meals your kids will be begging for (just like I used to beg for that boxed crap) every week.

Throw some cheese on that……